Anger
I'm mad. So what else is new? This is the longest Christina and I have gone without speaking after an argument. It's been 2 days and tonight will be the 3rd night. The truth is that I don't want to talk. I spent yesterday and today either doing things with Ari and Mason that needed to be done or things around home or town, but you know what I haven't been? Anxious. I've known that I've been supremely anxious, but I have had a difficult time describing its severity or explaining why it existed at all. Shockingly, now that I've spent 48 hours without giving a fuck what Christina thinks, says, or does, I get it! I had no idea: my anxiety has been related to her perception and judgment of me. Maybe not all of it, but 99% of it! That is shocking news to me. I'm embarrassed that I'm so unable to see myself that I didn't even know this was causing it. It's been the most peaceful 2 days. I made decisions, and these have been the thoughts that have g