Maybes
My life isn't what I want it to be. I feel guilty even typing that. It's been a year since I was writing a handful of Christmas cards to send to my close friends, and I was writing the same thing....that my life wasn't what it needed to be, and I knew that what I was living was a prelapse existence and needed to be altered. It's 12 months later and although some things have changed, nothing has changed. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm stressed and anxious and triggered and panicked, almost all the time. I don't want my children to grow up with this version of me, but this is who shows up for them. I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and on edge. But I KNOW the things I need to do to change this. That's the most fucked up part - I know how to make this better, but instead of doing it I'm drowning in slow motion. A lot of my day to day existence happens in my head. I don't have people to talk to; not in the way that you do when you work with a group o