Reliving
14 years ago I found myself embroiled in a custody litigation with my abusive ex who I shared an adopted daughter with. It became an extension of abuse; another way this human found to terrorize me. It robbed me of peace, joy, security...it ruled my life for over a year. I felt victimized by the legal system purported to be in the business of protecting children. About 4 years later, she sued me again. Both times she in essence "lost," but they never felt like wins to me. From my vantage point, it seemed anything that succeeded in frightening me and requiring my time, energy and money was a win for her. I now find myself back in a scenario that feels dangerously similar. Despite my attempts at self regulation, grounding, and healing, this is still a traumatic experience for me. I vacillate between moments of peace and confidence to those of complete terror. I'm in weekly therapy, where we attempt to make use of EMDR but also have to simply use time to catch up on the con